Part of Life

The day before, I was though that u will be part of my life, sharing my happy and unhappy things to you.
I was  though that v will have the same feel to each other, loving and caring each other.
Every word that u say to me, I care about, and I always remember it in my heart.
Especially the day u accompany me and walk with me to my car.
I was wondering the time will just stop at that moments. XD
And also the next day, we walk together, v talk to each other.  :)
Do u know that, the day after when u call me 'baby', I feel warm and caring. :D
Everytime when I was unhappy, alone in hostel, feel stress till can't sleep,  the only person in my mind is U.
I always wish to get encourage from u to cheer me up.
But u'll never know it. :/
Always ask myself not to find, not to annoy u, not to miss u, not to miss talking to u, but I failed.
WHY????
Cz I have a lots of happy and funny things that wish to share with U.

On the past 2 weeks when I heard from someone that you like a girl,
I was caring and wanted to know who is she, summore I need to pretend like nothing.
I was asking myself am I able to replace her in your heart. Am I more important than her in your heart.
I wanted to ask you, but I not dare. I know that I have no rights to ask U.
I will always jealous to your very close 'girl-friend', however you did told me she is just your little sister. And  I tried to be good to her, but I still feel jealous when u r good to her. When u ask am I jealous when u go out with her, I wish to say YES!!!

At the same time, I used to make u jealous when I was good to him, I wish that u will say U care about.
But when I ask do u feel jealous, the answer from u is "NO".  :(
I really feel happy when u ask me did I have anything lying to u about me n him.
But at last, u pretend like nth. U din't keep on asking !!!
Sometimes, I can't even differentiate that u really don't care about or......... u juz pretend like nth.
Or U really BLURRRRR till can't even feel how much I care about u.

In this midnight, I was doing my last preparation for my 1st final paper, I was stressful and worry about. Feeling unwell, and cry in my room!!!
I tried to find u, hope to get encourage from u, but failed.
U not giving me any encourage, and ask me to find him :(
Just put me a side and do ur stuff!!!
Do u know how much I HURT!!!!!

I wish to be STRONG !!!!!!

Mayb I get the wrong feel from u. Whatever I think , I feel before is wrong.
Maybe u treat me juz like a friend or even though juz a little sister. :/
You started not caring on me, stop finding me, stop whatsapp me, eventhough u leave comment on others ppl post, but u din ever leave a comment on mine.
I wish to know why!!!
Should I learn to go away from u??!!
I'm like all the way the only one who care about u, who needs you. And U doesn't care about.
If u willing to step forwards, I'll strive for it !!!!

Can I still........
OR I should give myself a timeline to find out the answer
OR just let u go, and put down all those feel from U.......